檢討一下邏輯架構

開頭跟conclusion 就不打了

直接進Body的三段

第一段

• 平鋪直敘，描述什麼造成什麼

• 帶出什麼能改善

• For example, 科學家舉例

• As for me, 我的例子

• 重申立場

• 立場的好處

第二段

• ＿＿＿＿enable＿＿＿＿

• There is no denying ___

• Take ＿＿＿＿for explanation

• ＿＿＿＿

• On the other words,? 重申立場

• 我的例子

• 我得到的好處

第三段

• 直接切下去：主題的那個可以not only 又能怎樣 but also …

• For instance, 做了怎樣的事情(跟主題扣), 可以有怎樣的進步

• 我的例子：感謝＿＿＿＿讓我＿＿＿，＿＿＿＿也能＿＿＿＿

• Finally, 重申立場

Some people believe that people spend too much time on personal enjoyment-doings they to do- rather than doing things they should do. However, I disagree with this statement because of the following reasons: reducing the stress, having more concentration and good for physics and mentality.

Generally, the stress is full of human’s life in modern sociality. However, personal activity can definitely eliminate the stress. For example, psychologists show that while people enjoy their personal time, their brain will release material to help us becoming pleasure. As for me, I feel happy and relax when I enjoy the drawing time. These phenomenons point out people should spent time on enjoyment to relax. People obtain the advantage of reducing stress in this urgent sociality.

In addition, personal enjoyment enables people to enhance the concentration. There is no denying that the time of personal activity can improve the concentration. Take studying time for explanation, how to take good use of time for preparing exam is the annoying problem for every student. No one will distribute whole day in addition sleeping time to prepare exam. On the other words, scheduling leisure time of personal enjoyment can improve the concentration toward preparing exam. Last time preparing the TOEFL exam, I specially plan the walking time between the study periods. Due to the relaxing time, I become more energetic and gain knowledge quickly.

From my point of view, personal enjoyment is not only good for mentality but also keep people healthy. For instance, by doing sports in leisure time, people can improve the physics and health to defeat any troubles. Thanks to the habit of walking, my legs are more powerful than other people.which helps me to overcome any severe circumstance like long walk, long stand…etc. Sports also bring me more energy and courage for facing life. Finally, I believe that the personal enjoyment is definitely needed in modern time.

To sum up, because of the following reasons: reducing the stress, improve concentration and good for physics and mentality. I consider that people should spend more time on personal enjoyment-doings than doing things they should do.